If you've ever been trapped inside a pan of popping popcorn - it's dark, noisy, you're wondering how you got there - then you know what it was like in my tent last night. It rained like brimstone from a Wee Free preacher's hand and hasn't stopped since. Good tent kept me dry all night and all morning. I waited all morning for the rain to ease up a bit, with nothing to do but stare at the corner of the tent where the TV should be, and eat hot cross buns. Even the midges looked midgesable. But it kept pouring down so I just had to go. I packed a soggy tent on my bike and headed into the rain and wind, the prevailing breeze from the south-west long since shoved out of the way by a chilly north wind. 18 miles later I arrived in Invershin (Eng: In the shin?). I can't tell you what the journey was like because everything looked like a cloud, especially as my glasses and my soul had misted over as well. I do remember savouring the last ember of warmth in my feet before the elemental powers squelched it out. The furnaces of my heart were undimmed, however, flaring up every time I remembered those who have sponsored me by the mile, for I'm taking a longer way round to John o'Groats than originally planned. So with a little stroking of Raquel's steely ears, we made it through.
As usual, I didn't know where I'd be staying overnight but I'd spied a youth hostel on the map. This turned out to be Carbisdale Castle, which the Scottish Youth Hostel Association have cared for, so it really feels like a castle but still only costs £16 a night. The castle, its contents and large estate were gifted to the SYHA at the end of the Second World War, during which time the king and crown prince of Norway were taking refuge here. Old paintings line the walls and there's a hall of statues (see photo). I'm staying in the tower. Breakfast in a castle costs £2.70 here. I hope that by then my clothes and tent will have dried out. Tomorrow if the weather's not too character-forming I'd like to reach the north coast, although the weatherpeople say that God has planned to stiffen the north wind tomorrow. I will then have seen north, east, south and west coasts of Britain on this voyage. I've ridden 1,100 miles and have just over 100 to go, inshallah.

Top 16 Frequently Asked Questions

(Some of these are just questions that I frequently ask myself)

1. Have you had any punctures, broken spokes or other mechanical calamities?
No.

2. What's the best food to eat while riding?
The best I've found is halva with honey - over 500 cals and 18g of protein per 100g and it tastes good.

3. Which is the only freshwater fish that looks like it might be smiling?
Goldfish.

4. How many times have you nearly been knocked off your bike by a vehicle?
Many, but very nearly about 3 times.

5. Does James Blunt have the buddha nature?
Of course.

6. Does the endless solitude of the road crush you until your lonely soul shivers in despair?
On Tuesdays and Fridays.

7. Will you survive?
Don't know.

8. What is the prevailing wind in Britain?
I don't know any more.

9. Does Raquel have ears?
Do you have ears? Well then.

10. What's been the best bit of the journey so far?
All of it that hasn't been on a main road or in the pouring rain.

11. Is it true that you've written all your blog entries on a mobile phone?
All but 3 or 4, yes.

12. How fast have you been?
Max as shown on the cycle computer is 40.3 mph, in Cornwall.

13. Who shall inherit the Earth?
The meek.

14. If a ton of feathers landed on your head on the moon, would it hurt?

15. If you chant the sacred syllable 'om' backwards, do you sound like a cow?
Moo.

16. You've not been asked any of these questions, have you?
Um, no.